My daughter crawled over to me this afternoon, while I was sitting in front of my computer, and reached up for me to pull her into my lap. She was hungry, and then fell asleep shortly after eating. As I was rocking her, I had one of those moments that’s almost painful – just holding her tightly and thinking about how

beautiful

she is. And I thought of how many mothers have had those same moments, the same thoughts. He/she is so

beautiful.

I remember when she was small enough to just lay there on my chest while I rocked. Now her long, thin legs curl around my waist and her lanky arms drap around mine. And we rock. And she breathes on my cheek. And I try my best to take it in. To find a place in my heart where I can store it & pull it back out later, when she’s even more grown up.

But I leak. My heart is forgetful and those moments seem to slip away, not available for me to quickly retrieve. How much more important that I choose to live in the present with her now, then trying to hold on to those ever allusive moments?

Will she ever know how much I adore her?

My mind then shifts to the fact that I’m made in the image of my Creator, my Father in Heaven. And I get my capacity to love her, however imperfectly on this side of heaven, from Him. Because He loves. I love because He loves.

And He thinks I’m beautiful. He takes in my moments, as I hold tightly to hers, and I bet He thinks, “Why doesn’t she accept the fact that I adore her?”

Why is it so hard for me/us to accept that we could be loved and adored the same way that we feel that towards those closest to us? Our hearts are broken with sin. We leak. Yet we feel these things, however imperfectly. How much more does He who is whole, One, love and feel these things towards us?

It may be a little backwards, but maybe as I learn to love her and show her how much I do, I’ll learn a little bit more of how much I’m loved as well.

Two Thousand plus years ago, God chose to save the world through Tragedy.

The tragedy – Jesus’ Crucifixion. His Son dying, brutally beaten and savagely nailed to a cross.

There was no last minute substitute given, no ram in a bush that God revealed at the eleventh hour.

Because He was the Ram – better yet, the Precious Lamb of God.

Pure. Spotless. Perfect. Sufficient.

We were supposed to be on that cross. We were the ones that were given a substitute at the eleventh hour.

We have been saved from tragedy. Through the tragic death of Jesus, the payment for our sin.

BUT that’s not the end of the story!

Jesus rose from the grave on the 3rd day, shaming the attempts of this world to hold back the Almighty plans of Heaven that were put into action the day that Eve took that first bite.

God planned this from the beginning, because He knew the end.

He knew we’d need a Savior. He knew that He’s have to give up the One that He most dearly loved in order to save those that He dearly loves.

He chose tragedy to save us.

God choosing to save the world through tragedy brings purpose & HOPE to how He can use our own personal tragedies today.

There is always more to the story than we can see. More going on even as Eve and Adam were being escorted out of the garden. Even as Jesus was being escorted down the Via Dolorosa (the Way of Suffering).

There is more to the story of what you’re facing today.

There is Hope.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.“-Jeremiah 29:11

My husband & I have started discussing Andrew Murray’s Daily Devotional at night, and it’s been a good time of connecting on a spiritual level & discussing how we receive these little snippets of truth. We have different learning styles and so often God speaks to us in different ways that this is a simple way we can connect over some of God’s truths together.

The other night, we read one on laying down our will for God’s will. And it made me realize that I haven’t heard that message in a while. Yes, it’s a common theme sewn into many devotionals and blog posts, but honestly, sometimes I think I miss it. I tend to like the nice, soft, encouraging statements that maybe confirm that I’m on the right path, or at least don’t seem to be really stifling what I am currently doing or wanting to do.

Isn’t that just like the flesh, to even go after the truth of God’s Word in a way that doesn’t hurt, or harm, or even come close to the conclusion that that very same flesh needs to be crucified?

Crucified. Put to death. In a painful way.

The devotional went on to focus on the importance of approaching situations in humility, even recognizing relational conflicts as opportunities for God’s grace to become apparent. Choosing to not default into defending my own ground or feel I need to stand firmly on my own plot of perspective. Real Humility allows us to listen and truly hear what the other person is saying (not just to come up with our rebuttal, but really to take into consideration what they’re saying and where they’re coming from). Humility reminds us that we’re no better than anyone else because we’re aware of our need for Him. For grace. For the forgiveness & patience & love that He’s calling us to offer to that person in front of us.

Have I loved like that lately?

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” -1 John 3:16-18

Have I loved in a way that required something of me?

Because maybe it’s not really love unless it does require something of us? Something that isn’t naturally inspired and easy to give.

I don’t know – I’m not a philosopher or theologian and don’t pretend to be one. But I just know that from the passage above – I take that kind of love to be hard. To be something that is born out of prayer and a close walk with Jesus. A fruit that can only be produced if we are connected to the One True Vine.

Actions & in Truth. No hollow words. No poignant phrases. No going-through-the-motion moves.

Lord, please open my eyes to a greater revelation of what Your love looks like. I am so comfortable in my flesh, in myself, & Your love is not comfortable – it’s not pretty and all wrapped up in a nice little box. It’s messy and hard. It’s a blood-stained cross and scars.

Only in You can I even have a desire for that. Infuse my heart with courage to desire the life that You want to live through me. And help me to surrender my will to that. To choose sacrifice, knowing that in that sacrifice, I’m the one that truly gains.

Thank You, Jesus, for the price you paid years ago that we celebrate this coming Easter weekend. Thank You for the road you walked so that we could walk with You, in eternity, forever, on those streets paved in gold!

Amen.