Inside the embrace

I love the Lord’s pursuit of us, of me. He truly is quite the romantic.

As I write this, I’m hearing it all in my head in a British accent. I guess I’ve been watching too much Elementary these days. But please join me. There is something about the British pronunciation of words that makes things sound so much more proper. (In fact, if you are interested in mastering it personally, here ya go. You’re welcome.)
I love the sound of it, how it seems to inspire a sense of importance on what is being said. I think God’s Word and the way that He pursues us calls for that type of reception in us.

So back to the original point…
God will use any means necessary to get our attention. It’s so humbling to think of the days/weeks/months I go without a wholehearted pursuit of Him and yet at each turn, when I bring a piece of my heart and a little of my attention, He is there. Ready to reveal Himself. Ready to remind me of His grace. Mercy. Faithfulness. Love.

A part of me squirms as I write this, battling the inner voice that tells me that so much more is required of me in order to really hear from the Lord. That I must jump through the standard hoops of religion and process in order to get back into His Presence, as though bargaining my way back into His favor.

When truthfully, it’s quite reversed. (insert British accent again) He has done what religion and process demanded and has offered me unconditional favor through His Son’s sacrifice and resurrection. All I have to do is come. Deute.  He is there, desiring my attention and time, not shamefully scolding, but passionately beckoning me to come closer so that I can hear all that He is saying, all that He has to share with me.

How often have I dragged my feet, putting off my return in fear and regret when what really was waiting for me was joy and fulfillment? What gracious response is next that I have yet to receive in my shame and hiding?

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” -Ephesians 3:17-19

The riches of His love…that we would explore them and know them personally. That we would be willing to travel the path of resistance through that regret and fear to return and find for ourselves the personal grace and mercy and abundant love that God has for us individually, “to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” To not just hear the sermons and read the scriptures from our removed position, but to walk into His embrace, the prodigal coming home, and learn from the new vantage point of His arms. That is where we get to know His heart beat. That is where we know that He really knows ours.

This is the passionate pursuit I am taking about. The God that hunts down prostitutes and prodigals every single day and invites them to His church. To be His church, His bride. That’s how we got here. Did you not know? Did you not know that He pursues your unfaithful heart every day, that you may possibly turn and catch a glimpse of Him, the real source of whatever you are searching for…hope, peace, significance, love, redemption.

What I have considered my life verse for a long time now- Proverbs 3:5-6- refers to acknowledging the Lord over my own understanding.  The word ‘acknowledge’ means to call to one’s attention a personal knowledge that only comes from personal experience.

It’s the ‘inside the embrace‘ vantage point. It’s the place of honor that we have been called to as sons and daughters who believe that God sent His Son Jesus to redeem what was broken and separated. And to return us to our rightful place, a relationship with God.

A return to His embrace.

It is there I find clarity.
My chaos looks more like a process.
My pain looks more like  purpose.
My fear looks more like opportunity which I can choose to press through.

It is there I find peace.
My anxiety doesn’t scream so loudly.
My worries are dwarfed in His Presence.
My doubts are welcomed and addressed-not always answered, but heard – not anything I need to keep hidden any longer.

It is there I find love.
The love I have longed for all my life.
To know like Hagar that God is the God who sees.
And more than that, the God that runs and chases after me.
That I am cherished and my value is expressed by the cross.

It is there I find out who I really am. It is only there that I can really see me, who He created me to be. But it is also there that my goal changes. Because in light of His Presence, I don’t need to be known anymore. I am known by Him and that is enough.

I forget this outside of the embrace. I forget a lot. And for this reason, and perhaps a million more I will never understand, God continues to pursue me. To lovingly remind me of Who He is and what He is doing, if I will join Him again.

How fitting that the Lord would speak these words to my heart as this year is almost over, the year that He called my eyes to settle on and into the word embrace. Symmetry. The Lord bringing things back around to what He had already spoken and is still speaking- what He has done since creation – bringing order to my chaos.

Lessons I never thought I’d have to teach

There are certain words or phrases that we repeat a lot around here these days.

One of which is “Natalie, do not sit on your brother.”

I never thought I would have to teach my daughter that her younger brother is not furniture.

“Repeat after me. Fish are friends, not food.”

I’m seriously thinking of holding intervention meetings for toddlers on such related matters – living rooms are not parkour courses, hoarding toys behind pillows is not okay, etc. – if anyone would like to enroll their own littles.

I’m thinking that may be more productive than repeatedly banging my head up against the wall.

 

Come (There’s always an upgrade with Him)

Recently, while trying to get together a meaningful gift for a friend, I ran across the Greek word for come: deute. This term is used specifically in Matthew 11:28 when Jesus says,

“Come, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I loved the idea that Jesus tells us to come to Him. Sometimes it’s an invitation. Other times, a command. According to Strong’s Concordance, this specific instance it was used imperatively. Come!

I was reminded of all of this earlier this morning, as my daughter was in the kitchen. I had just printed out a grocery scavenger hunt page to hopefully keep her occupied on our weekly trip to Aldi.

I had placed the scavenger hunt sheet on a clipboard and put it next to my purse so I hopefully wouldn’t forget it (and my purse) on the way out the door. Because with two little ones, it’s a little crazy around these parts, especially when we try to actually leave the house.

Disclaimer: I am not nearly this creative or intentional most days. So if you are a tired mama that is just trying to get through the day (or hour), please don’t see this as yet another way you may not be doing ‘what you should be doing.’ I am not trying to ‘should’ on you. Occasionally when I have had a good time with the Lord in the mornings – which again, does not always happen – He will provide ideas like this for me and inspire me in the work that He has placed in my hands. I believe it’s part of the way that He reveals His goodness to me and the promise of “Seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” As I try to seek Him first, He directs my steps. Sometimes in more general ways, sometimes in specifics that help lighten a load (like grocery shopping with two restless kiddos). So my motivation is to just share a neat idea that the Lord gave me today, in case you can benefit from it or it will inspire another good idea that can help you with a less-than-fun activity with your kidlets. And also in an effort to keep it real here, I will add that I went grocery shopping in my bleach & paint stained yoga pants today. So nothing to see here, folks. Please keep tracking with me.

So, back to the story:
My daughter was curious and was already trying to investigate the next activity, and inadvertently tore the sheet in the process.

“Uh oh, mom. I tore it.”
“Bring it here, hun.”
Silence.
“Natalie, just bring it here. I’ll fix it.”
“I can do it.” (more tearing)
“Natalie, bring it here. It’s okay. Just bring it here.”

That’s when the Holy Spirit started speaking to me.

“Just come to Me. I’ll fix it. Don’t try to do it yourself. It doesn’t need to be fixed before you give it back. Just bring it to me. I’ll take it like it is. I can fix it.”

And how often have I sat there fumbling, putting off His invitation, still rifling around with the pages of my life, trying to get them back in order and all together again, looking for tape or glue or whatever else I think will get it back like it’s supposed to be.

Just come! Deute!
It speaks of an urgency.

And what does He offer for the exchange? A reprimand? A punishment? A shameful scolding?
Nope.

“Come, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Rest.

That’s one of His magnificent exchanges.

There’s always an upgrade with Him.

Lord, I pray that you would continue to reveal the deception that is in my heart, when I am wrestling and striving to fix or perfect before I bring You what You are asking for. Whether it’s my service or myself, I pray that I would respond quickly when you call, trust that You love me and my efforts as they are, and that really You are the only one capable of transforming what is in my hands and in my heart. I was never supposed to do it. It was always supposed to be offered to You. Thank you for continually speaking and revealing Yourself. Please continue to give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
In Jesus’ Powerful Name, Amen.

Thanks for letting me share!

Come As You Are – Crowder