For May, Jordan and I have decided to focus on The Parable of the Sower from Luke 8 for our family devo time. We have these really cute little picture cards (as I posted earlier here) we got through our current homeschool curriculum, Mother Goose Time, as well as some fun activity suggestions that go along with the lessons.

A couple days after we started, I realized I wanted more of a visual to help the kids understand the importance of being planted in good soil, and how that will affect growth. Being completely clueless as to where to start, I scoured Pinterest, asked for suggestions on Facebook, and honestly didn’t come up with much that I felt was feasible for us (and my lack of a green thumb).

Well, it just so happens, as God often works in my life, He has already given me what I needed before I even thought about this idea (which was really His in the first place…I just thought it was mine. Thank you, Holy Spirit inspiration).

You see, on Day 1 of our Growing Gardens study, the kids and I planted grass seeds in 3 little containers.

(Day 1: Natalie’s was on the far left, and then Peter’s, and then mine)

Natalie had decided she wanted to cover hers with soil, to make sure the seeds were buried, and that it was really planted. For Peter, I let him just scatter the seeds on top of the little soil container. And we ended up having some seeds leftover, so I pulled out a third container (much more shallow than the other two) and just put whatever soil and seed was left over. The idea was to watch over the next few days and weeks, and to record any changes they identified.

It wasn’t until Day 5, when we noticed that Nat’s container had a few little grass sprouts coming up, that I realized that we already had our visual aid.

(Day 5: Nat’s tiny little sprouts)

I’m explaining to Natalie that her seeds, unlike the other two, were actually planted. They were in the ideal environment for the little seedlings to grow, in good soil. And as we looked at the other two containers, there were no signs of life.

(Day 5:Peter’s scattering of seeds, no sprouts)

Well, as it would happen, as we continued to check on our little plants each day, on Day 8 we found that Peter’s container had started to sprout.

(Day 8: Growth!)

But, as you can see, it is yielding a lot less sprouts than Natalie’s. So we talked about how his, like the seeds tossed in the rocky soil, they were able to sprout up quickly, too, but don’t have as much opportunity to put down roots to get the water and nutrients they need. They were obviously not flourishing like Natalie’s plant.

We then went on to talk about how a few, that had sunk down into the soil, were trying to grow, but the rest were still just laying on the top. And we talked about how if the cups were outside, we could imagine birds possibly wanting to come and nibble on the exposed seeds (like those thrown along the path).

(And for me, the Holy Spirit took it even further, speaking to me about how Peter’s plant had sprouted. Yes, there was life, and it may even appear that it’s going to do well after all, that it just got a slow start. But if I were to take those plants outside, in more direct sunlight, it would be apparent pretty soon that it doesn’t have what it needs to sustain the growth. In the same ways, in the seasons where I choose to not intentionally set aside time to be with the Lord, to get into His Word and spend time in prayer – where it’s just a little here or there, whenever I can squeeze it in, and not a priority – I can be easily deceived that that is all I need. But when the ‘heat’ comes, it’s apparently pretty quickly the condition of my heart and how much I need to rely on the Lord each and every day for life and breath, because He is the One that sustains me and allows me to not only survive, but thrive.)

And lastly, my little ole container, well, it didn’t bear anything.
(Day 8: My plant, like the seeds scattered along the path)

The seeds were still laying on top of the soil, with no opportunity for growth or progress.

The whole thing has been such a great picture of some very true principles laid out in scripture, and I love that each morning she asks to see her grass sprouts, and surveys the differences between the plants.

(Day 11: A great picture of the difference in amount of growth and flourishing)

(Fun addition by Natalie that I found here on Pinterest)

As an official Mother Goose Time Blog Ambassador,
I receive curriculum in exchange for posting about our honest and authentic experiences with the curriculum.

One of the passages that was really impressed on my heart while I was pregnant with Natalie was Ephesians 3:16-21.

“I pray that out of His glorious riches God may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”

We had already planned on painting a tree in her room, and I just loved the imagery of her being rooted in the Lord’s love, secure and finding her life in Him.

Well, today we spent some time picking leaves for a lesson plan in our backyard. (I just love our new curriculum by Mother Goose Time, and the chance that I get to go through these fun lessons with them!)

They were so cute with their little buckets, exploring.

We found some great heart-shaped ones.

And with all these recent lessons on what it takes for plants to grow, being rooted, and how plants drink water, this passage came to mind.

As I was reading and discussing the verses with Nat this afternoon, we were talking about how in the same way that plants get water through their roots so that they can grow and live, when we are rooted in God, His love can fill us and help us produce spiritual fruit. And Natalie says, “But mom, I don’t feel God’s love filling me up.”

(Oh, how I get that statement more than she knows. I want to feel it. I want to lay eyes on it. I want to grasp it with my hands and examine it. I want to understand).

I explained to her that we don’t have to feel it, that we just need to ask God to fill us up with His love.

And the sweetest little prayer came next. “Dear God, please fill me up with your love. in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

And there you have it. Such a sweet picture of child-like faith. She understands in a way that I am still trying to grasp that I just have to ask God for what I need, and then go on about my day, knowing that He promises to give me not only what I need, but so often showers above and beyond in His goodness and grace.

And that I don’t always have to feel it.
I don’t have to see or understand.
I can just know because His Word promises.

She is teaching me so much.

 

As an official Mother Goose Time Blog Ambassador,
I receive free curriculum in exchange for posting about our honest and authentic experiences.

Only a quarter of a mile into our homeschooling journey, I have been amazed to see the ways God has chosen to use it to teach me.

I used to joke that God was calling me to homeschooling for me, and hopefully my kids would get an education along the way. The statement is so true.

So here are a few nuggets I’ve gleaned so far:

I have learned that I am lazy. Well, I already knew this, but it confirmed the pretty obvious suspicion. If left to my own devices, I will stay in my pajamas…for days. I will lounge and drink coffee and ask Natalie to get things for Peter so I don’t have to get off the couch. (Can you relate? Maybe not. Maybe it’s just me.)

I have learned that when it comes to hard things, I am not interested. I don’t want to learn anything new that takes more than a little effort. The way that I see my daughter stubbornly cross her arms and say “I can’t do this” after one failed attempt – yeah, I see myself in that. I get it. Hard things are just well, hard. And I prefer easy.

I have learned that I am impatient, and need time for my coffee to kick in before I attempt to accomplish pretty much anything involving other people.

(so true, right?!)

I have learned that I am fearful of the unknown, intimidated by the expectations I place on myself and perceive others’ placing on me, and that I struggle a lot with trusting God, His timing, and His plans.

Sounds really delightful, right? All the things that inspire and motivate hoards to go run after the next challenging thing they sense God calling them to do.

BUT…
I have also learned that despite all these less-than-desirable qualities that I now own about myself (which used to be the very things that kept me from committing to homeschooling in the first place), God didn’t stop here.

God has continued to speak and reveal. He doesn’t choose to show me the ways that I fall short and just leave it at that. He doesn’t work that way. I don’t know why I so often anticipate that is where the story ends (Surprise, surprise. Jenny couldn’t cut it. The End.), but I do.

God continued to speak.

He showed me my laziness, but then He showed me His faithfulness. He called me to join Him in this new process, and those He calls, He equips. Because He calls, I get up in the morning. I may still be in my pajamas, but I pull my hair back and I drink that cup of coffee (and pray, don’t forget prayer), and I start my day. And I cling to the promise that He will give me what I need. And that gives me hope.

And in that same day, He shows me the very fears I so often push back or distract away -those thoughts that tell me that I am ridiculous for thinking that I can teach my kids at home, that they will have what they need in order to succeed, and that maybe God didn’t actually call me to this. And instead of shame, God brings them into the light, where we can talk about it. Deal with it. Wrestle through and climb over.

I literally had to fight back irritation and the knee-jerk reaction today to just stop and say ‘forget this. I’m not going to do it.’  And then my next thought being, ‘Really, am I still here? Am I still at the point where at any given second I can drop the whole thing? Why yes, yes I am.’ (a little inside peek into the conversations that go on in my head, because frankly, there are just no other adults around most days. So I gotta talk to someone.)

And then the next breath, the Holy Spirit enabled me to pray and say, ‘Lord, because You said this is the way, I’m going to keep going. I don’t understand. I don’t see it. I don’t have any idea of how this is gonna look – along the way or where we are going. But I’m going to follow You.’

And even in this, He showed me that He is there. His Presence equips and enables me to continue. He is Hope.

And that despite the fact that all these fears and doubts are still here, there is something new going on. I am learning what it means to trust, to not just to ask what trust is or how to trust. My usual tactic is to  (1) identify, then (2) define, and then (3) attempt to fully understand a thing to make sure that boat is going to float before I get into it, and then possibly (4) taking swim lessons in case something goes wrong (my Plan B’s have their own plan b’s).

But now I am actually stepping into the thing.

Because trust is NOT about knowing that it’s going to work out the way I think it should, or waiting until circumstances change or my current emotional state subsides. It’s not about knowing that I haven’t completely gotten it wrong and misunderstood.

But trust is saying that despite myself – despite all the less-than-desirables that I have just learned and confirmed about myself – that God loves me, that He has promises for me and my family that He will fulfill, and that He is in control.

Trust is saying I don’t have to know.
I don’t have to know.
(Selah.)

 

I am also learning that He has been and will always be the Way Maker.

He provided a way when there was no visible way for me to be home full-time with my babies, and He has continued to make a way through the wilderness of infancy & toddlerhood, through the droughts of sleeplessness and showerlessness (because a shower is like a oasis in the desert – sometimes you run across one, and sometimes you just dream of one, someday), and to rivers of new peace and joy hidden in the middle of raging rapids and muddy messes.

He has been faithful to provide the way, take my hand, and lead me at His pace – sometimes slowly, when I would so wish we would run to just get through it all – and sometimes faster than I would have liked.

“Lord, can’t I just stick my toes in and slowly let my body get used to the temperature of the water?”
“Nope, we’re going all in, today.”

Through it all, He has provided what we need. His provision has taken on different forms, just as different terrains require different supplies, but through it all, He has been there.

His Name is Faithful.

 

I have also learned that if I will push past some of these less-than-desirables about myself, there is joy on the other side.

Here are a few of the joy lessons:

I actually like doing crafts. (jaw dropping for those that know me) I still don’t like to gather all the supplies or clean up the messes, but I really enjoy the doing. And so I’m willing to do what is required in order to appreciate the moments of creating with my kids, and the keepsakes at the end of it.

I can be flexible. (again, another gasp) I can start out with a plan – a wonderful, glorious, structured, color-coded plan, and I can veer off if a child is cranky or the mess happens or they decide they want to spend the whole amount of time for the entire 5-step task on just step 1. I have survived. I have seen the Holy Spirit direct us to conversations that I couldn’t in my best attempts have put into the lesson plans.

And more than anything, I have seen myself stop and take in the moments. I have started to see that it’s in the middle of the really hard days – sandwiched between the worst morning ever and the afternoon that wouldn’t end – that there are these priceless gems that I am given with my kids that I would have missed if I had thrown my hands up in the air and gone back to bed (which is what my body always wants to do). I would have missed them.

So in all of this, I’m going to, by the Lord’s strength, do what is required – trudge through the messy and chaotic and cranky and less-than-ideal – in order to take hold of the sweet, joyful moments that are found in the midst of this journey.

It’s gonna be a long, crazy ride, but I’m really looking forward to it.