With our current “Growing Gardens” Theme from MGT, the kids and I have talked a lot lately about how creative God is. Take the seed, for example. How incredible to know that within the little shell contains the ability and potential for so much more. Just add water.
We’ve thrown a few seeds into zip-locks with a wet paper towel and have been examining how they respond to these conditions, and watching how the water starts to initiate and unlock this process that is already inside of them. Such creative design.
And to think that we are made in God’s image?!
As a rule-following, give-me-an-example-of-how-it-should-look-and-I-will-try-to-duplicate kind of girl, I appreciate abstract creativity from an outsider perspective. I like order and balance, so all of the houses I drew as a little girl all had the same number of windows on each side, the only thing that could be considered off balance was the one chimney on the roof, but I added that because all the other images I saw had chimneys. So, you know. Gotta follow the example.
But my daughter – man, oh, man. She is all about abstract. She is not only great at free-designing pictures and creations out of blocks/shapes, etc., she is also great at identifying things within abstractions, naming them so that I can then see what she sees. She is going to be a great leader some day.
Today, though, took it to a whole ‘nother level.
This is her tree.
And when asked to explain it, she went into full detail, telling me what was the trunk, what parts “helped hold it up” (as though she recognized that it didn’t quite have structural integrity), what were the leaves, and even added that it had a ‘bad white thing’ on top that if you touch it, it can make you sick. On further investigation, I deduced that she was referring to mold that she had recently seen on an orange at the grocery store that I had told her ‘not to touch because it could make her sick.’
I love how she gets so engaged in her art, personalizing it from her own experiences. And I’m so thankful I thought to ask her to explain it to me, that I didn’t immediately brush it off as a 4 yr olds’ silliness, but really it’s a glimpse into her little world. And I love it.
I love being able to see into her little world and learn more about her.
In the same way, I can look at God’s creation and learn more about Him and His Story, the One who created everything out of nothing – no blueprints or examples to go off of.
His own design.
Natalie calls God ‘original.’ I think she nailed it.
Today was a lot of fun. And totally spontaneous, which I actually kinda loved.
(gasp, shock, and disbelief)
The morning started out slow, me with my coffee and the kids playing in the living room. Natalie had it in her mind she wanted to bake “Cookies Ovaila” (pronounced o-vay-la), and so began gathering her ingredients (plastic fruits and veggies) and some paper in order to write out her ingredients.
This became a great exercise in practicing her writing and sounding out her letters, and I loved seeing how it just unraveled out of something she had chosen to do herself. And thankfully Peter was quite content playing on the floor with me, counting out animal-shaped erasers that Natalie got for Christmas.
“12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 18, 20”
It was a pretty windy day, so the large elm tree branches by our window in the living room caught their attention, swaying back and forth. Natalie noticed that a few leaves where brown and wilting, and asked why that was.
This was a perfect, unplanned review from earlier this month as we talked about how leaves get what they need from the water and the nutrients in the soil, which they take up through their roots to the branches, and so those leaves must not have a good connection to the branch like the other green, thriving ones next to them. And what a beautiful picture of the truth of John 15:5, which was on our mantle for so many months last year.
In the same way that these leaves need to stay connected to the branch in order to live and flourish, we also need to stay connected to God in order to do the same.
Pretty soon after I had slipped away for my breakfast and to finish my coffee, Peter starts asking me for ‘circle time.’ I just cannot believe how much he loves circle time?! I never would have guessed.
For those unfamiliar, which was me about a month ago, this is the time we gather around my pretty little display board (which you can see here), listen to a song called none other than “circle time” and dance around.
(Seriously – cutest thing ever. Them, not me.)
And then we go over a little mini-focus for the day.
Today was moles, so we talked about where moles live, what they eat, and sang a little song to the tune of “Skip to my Lou”.
Dig, dig, dig, little mole,
Dig, dig, dig, little mole,
Dig, dig, dig, little mole,
Jump around the circle hole.
(change the shape name to review shapes)
The kids pretended to be little moles, crawling and tunneling around. I wish I had a picture to capture the moment. Cutest moles ever.
We then moved into the kitchen for the first Mole Lesson. I honestly hadn’t prepared for today, but instead have just been enjoying the time with my kids this week. Let me say, for those of you that may not know me very well, this is rare. I’m usually all about a good plan and prep.
Type A, all the way.
Type A, all the way.
Type A, all the way.
Stressed, but I have my to-do list done.
BUT for whatever reason, I was more interested in winging it and just enjoying them this week.
(I think I am catching some of the summer fever going around.)
Anyways, so I get to looking over the first lesson and popping out the already perforated game pieces for the first activity.
(I LOVE how Mother Goose Time provides so much of the needed supplies and really takes a lot of the work out of it. It’s been really great to put more time and energy into my kids than worrying about the supplies.)
The first game is similiar to an activity Natalie and I did yesterday from her More Math workbook, so it was pretty easy to jump right into the game.
Simple Concept – the four game pieces are animals that are harmful for a garden. You roll the color block and move your piece to whatever veggie along the path matches the color.
So, we went through naming the game piece animals.
First one – mole.
Me: Why is it harmful for a garden? (This one was easy because we just talked about it during circle time.)
Natalie: Because moles eat the roots of the plants.
Me: Great! What about the crow? Why it is harmful for the garden?
Nat: Because it eats the carrots.
Me: Well, I guess it might possibly eat the carrots, but usually it goes after the seeds that are planted and produced in the garden. That is why there are scarecrows in large gardens and fields.
Nat: Oh! Let’s make scarecrows for our garden!!
(This is where I will admit that normally, either out of laziness or being the rule-follower that I am, I would normally say no. We need to stick to our lesson and keep going. Focus, focus, focus. Type A all the way.)
But today, I figured, why not? We’re just going with it.
So the next 30 minutes or so, we designed and created our scarecrows.
My favorite parts:
Peter calling his scarecrow ‘daddy’ because it had a hat. (My husband wears a hat 90% of the time.)
Peter’s laugh when he saw the face on his scarecrow.
Natalie designing her necklace for her mommy scarecrow, and deciding the hair needed to have beads as well.
Natalie drawing a ‘scary’ face on the scarecrow so that it would be more effective.
Needless to say, we veered off the lesson plan a good bit this morning, and gasp….it was still a really great day!
Natalie ended up playing around like she was a crow, and would have me hold up her scarecrow towards her so she could fly off, scared.
And Peter just had fun exploring all the different craft supplies that were strewn all over the kitchen table.
(yay for math manipulatives!)
A few more highlights from this morning:
Peter’s sorting factory! Peter’s sorting factory!
I was so excited to see him finally identifying his colors better. My husband and I were concerned for a while that he may possibly be colorblind because of the ways that he incorrectly identified colors, didn’t seem interested in sorting by color (only shape or size), etc. But apparently something has clicked over the past couple of weeks, and I was really quite impressed with how well he did.
I didn’t realize when we started that there were so many colors, so we didn’t get out enough containers. When he ran across a color we hadn’t accounted for, he would ask “where is blue” and I would grab another tub. I was really excited to see that he was not only able to sort, but also figure out if there wasn’t a place for the color he was holding.
And then Peter also used Dot-to-Dot markers for the first time today!
They have been hidden away in my craft box (the beautiful detergent box in the background of the pictures). I loved these things with Natalie when we first started doing more things at home together last year, and so we already had a fair amount of printables saved on my computer. So I just printed out some letters and we worked a little bit with colors and letters.
Natalie, all the while, worked on labeling her life-cycle.
These were some cute printables that I found for free recently that went along great with the Growing Gardens theme this month, so we threw those into the mix.
I’m so thankful for fun mornings like this that remind me that the possibilities are endless! Not just with homeschooling, but that each day, the Lord’s mercies are new.
There is HOPE that today doesn’t have to be like yesterday and that, even though planning is great and preparation often necessary, sometimes the Lord just gives you what you need when you rest in Him, and really take time to enjoy Him and receive His gifts. I really took the time to ‘be’ with my kids today – to enjoy them and laugh at their silliness and have fun. And that was awesome. I want to do that more, and I’m sad to say that I often am more about the ‘doing’ than the ‘being.’ However, I am thankful to see new patterns and responses in me, evidence of His work and His commitment to finish what He has started.
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This morning, as I was listening to this, I was challenged to really believe that right now, God’s care for me is PERFECT – that the things that I feel may be lacking are His intentional withholding for my good, and the things that I feel may be oversights are there for purpose to produce what He wants in my life.
I have a hard time with this lie – the original lie – that God is withholding good from me. Eve fell prey, and so do I, almost every single day. I hear the term ‘withhold’ with a negative connotation. I see lack as bad, always bad.
(When Natalie was itty bitty, I had the privilege of going through the study, The Great Lie, with a mentor and another close friend – such a timely theme for that season. Our plan was to discuss this small, 32 page booklet while we waited for our ‘real’ study to come in the mail. Well, about 4 months later, we were still picking apart the intense truths in this little booklet. Funny how I often diminish the importance of something small by having my eyes on ‘what’s next’.)
But getting back to the point – this original lie that God is withholding good from us, from me.
Even in this, there are so many misconceptions. One, that the thing that God is withholding is a good thing, and two, that even if it is a good thing, that it would be good for me, now, in this season.
I understand that my heart is deceptive and does not often desire good things for me. I’m pretty familiar with that. So these days, the first part of this misconception doesn’t trip me up as much.
(A couple obvious examples: It would not be good for me to stay in bed all day long. Some days – oh man, that is what I want. But good for me, nope. Also, My kids want to eat candy all.day.long. Pretty obvious that it wouldn’t be a wise choice.)
But the second misconception I mentioned is what I still struggle with – the appropriate gift at the appropriate time – “The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.” (Psalm 145:15)
I view something as good – and see that God deems this thing as good – and when it is not given, I feel left out. I feel like He maybe missed something, forgot about me, doesn’t care how I feel, or that maybe I didn’t do what was needed to ‘earn’ said gift (enter lies of perfectionism, guilt and shame).
It’s hard to keep perspective, and even understand that so often I will only have a glimpse of God’s perspective on the situation.
I understand that it would not have been good to have given my once 6-month-old a nice, juicy hamburger. The hamburger in and of itself is great, but not for someone that doesn’t have teeth and the system to process it. It’s not the right time for it.
I also understand that my daughter would LOVE to stay up later at night and not take a nap in the middle of the day. One day, she will have the ability to enjoy the gift of more time and more independence, but right now, her little body can’t handle the lack of sleep and extra expended energy. (I have several recent public meltdowns as my evidence).
So until she can enjoy the gift of that time and independence, we’re going to continue to keep the usual sleep schedule and withhold the extension for a while.
I can get this as a parent – withholding even good things from my kids because right now, it wouldn’t be good for them.
So, even as the serpent originally mingled some truth with his lie – that God was withholding from Eve (truth), but that what God was choosing to withhold from Eve would be good for her (lie), I get tripped up with the subtle differences. I see God’s withholding in my life as His withholding good for me now. I do not see His boundaries as His love for me.
And in God’s timeliness and faithfulness, this comes up at church.
“Our misunderstanding of the goodness of God distorts our view of His boundaries.” – Jeremy Gardner
(Oh man – I could go on for days in the challenge of codependents and their struggle with understanding boundaries, but I will refrain.)
And then if that wasn’t enough truth to chew on for the rest of the week, or year, the Holy Spirit continued to speak.
“If _______ was taken from you (or might I personally add “not given to you at all”), would you run to God or from God?”
Ouch. But even though it hurt to hear it- to sit down and really think about how I respond to God’s withholding or His taking away – I am so thankful that God so faithfully and persistently pursuing my heart on this matter. The conviction that I so often want to avoid (maybe you can relate?) is an indicator of His love for me, His pursuit of my heart.
Do you believe that? Do you believe that being uncomfortable in His Presence is a good thing?
Because it means that we’re in His Presence – that He has called us to Himself – and that He is not willing for us to continue to gasp for breath and for life anymore under the weight of our sin, but that He is doing something about it.
My misconception of God’s goodness is at the very heart of my struggle. But in moments of clarity, it is so glaringly obvious just how good and gracious He is. And a great reminder that I have to remain in Him – stay in His Word, His lamp unto my feet, so that I can be constantly reminded of these truths.
Because by myself, I forget. I lose sight.
And I’m back where I started. Hurt and confused and a maybe even a little bitter because I’m not getting what I want and God is holding out on me.
Oh man – calling it what it is hurts, but I’d rather step into confession than live in denial.
Even though I can picture my two kids playing out this very scenario on any given day (and y’all, they are 2 & 4 yrs old), and as much as I would love to be able to distance my maturity level from them, in so many ways I still act like a little kid.
My tantrums may be a little bit more sophisticated (as Rachael Carmen put it so well at a recent convention I went to), but ultimately I am still God’s child, still in very much need of His parenting, His direction and discipline, and His judgment determining what I do and do not need on any given day.
Because at the heart of this lie is an attempt for us to get our eyes off God and onto ourselves, to magnify us in all our needs and wants and desires, and to make our lives, our little kingdoms, the chief end of our pursuit. But that isn’t what I was created for, and it’s not what you were created for.
We have a Creator God as our Father, who loves us immensely, and has already done what was needed for us through His Son’s sacrifice on the cross. The boundary lines have already fallen for me in pleasant places, marked by the Cross to forever stake my place with Christ, and I will have a delightful inheritance with Him in heaven. I have been given all I need in Christ. Anything else here is just more grace. Anything else here is just His goodness poured out on a grateful broken sinner who even has to ask for eyes to recognize His gifts as good.
He gives His priceless gifts to a child who can’t appreciate them – not waiting until I can receive them well – and then walks with me so that I better understand what I have received.
That is grace.
Lord, I wish, oh how I wish, that I could believe this truly, from the depths of my soul. That I could trust that in everything, You are moving on my behalf – for my good and for the glory of Your Name and the expansion of Your kingdom. Please give me perspective, those Kingdom eyes that see You and Your ways and Your economy for what it truly is. Please continue to shine Your light on the ways that my vision is distorted by reason and culture and my lack of understanding.
And until my vision becomes actual sight, I pray that I would be able to step out, in the Holy Spirit’s power, in imperfect trust and imperfect faith, knowing that You are the Author and Perfector, and my job is just to respond and step. Thank You for Your faithfulness. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
(As the Lord would have it, as I was wrapping up this post today, I was reminded of the very reasons that I named this place A Beautiful Inheritance and how this fight to hold onto the truth that God is good and for me is at the heart of my journey, and I believe yours, too. Because if we can really get this truth into our hearts, then we can stop our attempts to search for our own good in our self-sufficient ways and are freed up to do some pretty amazing things for God’s Kingdom, trusting that He is taking care of us while we give our lives for His cause and His people.
He has placed our boundary lines in pleasant places, and we have a delightful inheritance in Him. It is Truth. If it doesn’t feel that way, press into Him. If you feel unloved and unacceptable, press in all the more. Press in on the days that you feel are shot, that you’ve messed up too much, that you just need to go to bed and start over again tomorrow. Press in and find Him even there, in your worst failures. Because He walks through it all with us, and so that means there is value in it all, good in all of it. Because He is there. And He is Good.)
“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.” – Jeremiah 29:13
