In The Deep End

 

Clouds_over_the_Atlantic_Ocean

Last fall, my husband and I had the awesome opportunity to take a kid-less vacation. As much as I missed them, it was so nice to have some time alone with the hubs, and honestly, to just sleep whenever I wanted to. That is what I consider a vacation – not sight-seeing or shopping, but food and sleep. Total bliss!

Part of the purpose of this trip for me was to process some of the things I had been feeling God leading us to – lots of change, some physical and logistical, but mostly heart-related – the main being homeschool. Although the Lord had taken away some fear in it (my palms would literally sweat when I would talk about it), there was still a lot of anxiety and unknowns about what this would look like for our family, and I thought getting out of our usual routine would help me to gain some perspective.

Okay, that sounded really tame.
Let me rephrase this: I felt like I so desperately needed to hear from the Lord on this. Even though the Lord had already begun to change my heart and mind, I felt like I was two steps into a 100,000 mile journey. I needed more.

In God’s faithfulness, in the ways that only  He can, He did. He pulled together some amazing circumstances to speak to my heart and to my fear.

On the second day on our cruise, we had a day at a sea (meaning that we would just be sailing all day, in-between ports with no stops). We had found a great deal so we were able to score a room with a balcony, knowing we’d be spending a lot of time reading and laying around that week.

So as we’re sitting out on our little balcony, with my earbuds in, listening to a new Bethel album I had bought for the trip, journaling and spending some time reading the Word, I look up to see a bird flying next to the boat.

Now, we are no way near land.
How in the world is there a bird just flying out in the middle of the ocean?!

So I’m just kind of sitting there in disbelief, wondering if I’m really seeing this.

Since I was already praying, I figured I would ask God.

(I will admit, I don’t often ask questions like this in prayer – so the whole experience was a little peculiar and awkward for me.)

“Lord, how is it here?”

And I sensed the Holy Spirit impress on my heart almost immediately – ‘This is what you can do with Me. You can go out to the depths because I am with you.

Now – here’s a little insight, for those of you that may not know me very well. I am a planner.  I hear (or think I hear) God’s call to something, and I mark out my course, pack my bags for what I think I will need, and I set out with all the best intentions to obey. (Note all the “I’s” in this statement .) But what happens with this faulty approach is that I get to the shoreline, maybe even wade out into the waves a bit, but pretty soon I know that any further and I’m in over my head. I can no longer attempt to believe that I am capable of obeying and following Him into the depths on my own. (Enter guilt, shame, and discouragement)

But in this moment, and through all the change that the Lord was orchestrating in our lives, He was showing me that  the truth is that He not only calls, but that He also takes my hand and walks each step of the way with me, steadying me.

“You can go out to the depths because I am with you, sustaining you, giving you a place to rest.”

And what happened next was honestly just amazing. As I am watching this bird fly (let’s call him Finn for fun), I recognize that not only is Finn flying, but he looks like he is enjoying himself – flying side to side, dancing and diving, skimming the surface, and enjoying the depths.

Then the bird came and perched on the boat, with its little body in direct contrast to this massive ship, which was so capable of providing a perching spot, a place of rest.

Isn’t that an amazing picture of what journeying with God can be?!

He invites us into the depths because He knows that it is where the abundance is. It’s not in the safe and secure, the ground I can feel beneath my feet, where I build my own little kingdom that begins to taste grainy in my mouth like the sand I’m building it on. The abundance is in surrounding myself with water where it’s impossible to even attempt to do the thing on my own – all the while exhilarating and fulfilling the desires of my heart – desires that He fashioned when He created my heart in the first place. I experience His life inside of me, Him doing what only He can do in and through me. And that truly is the only thing on this side of heaven that fulfills.

That is the kind of life I used to pray for in college (when I was naive as to what that actually meant) – when I would ask that the Lord to make my life unexplainable apart for Him. I’m thankful that even though I had no idea what I was asking at the time, He decided to answer my naive prayers in His way and in His timing.

Lord, You are in the depths. You are in the chaos and the messy, the uncomfortable and impossible, the hard and miraculous. Despite my flesh, I want to be there. I want to experience not just Your sustaining hand, but the ways that You transform my heart to not only obey, but to enjoy it. I desire the freedom to trust You and just be and enjoy.

(This was a similar prayer I put in my journal that day, on the ship, inspired by the freedom I saw in Finn.)

(Side-note: Isn’t it incredible how someone else’s freedom can be so inspiring? I think that is what true freedom does – it gives us permission to be who we are, and yet shows us that we can step into so much more.)

Fast forward to this past December, and not only was I ready to step into the depths of homeschooling, I actually wanted to. There was excitement where there was once only extreme fear and dread.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was real. The Lord was doing something new.

And you know what else I discovered? I love it.

In His goodness, He can change our hearts and give us desires for the very things He is calling us to, planning for us, prepared before the creation of the world for us to step into.

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

So what is your story? What is your ‘deep-end’ that you fear the Lord may be calling you to explore? What is holding you back and is it worth forfeiting the freedom that you will experience if you will just step off the shore?

Updated: Natalie’s First Short Story

Since I originally posted this, the author informed me that I had entitled her story incorrectly.  I have since made the appropriate changes to ensure accuracy.

For my birthday (not really, but I’m gonna claim it), Natalie composed her first short story. It was inspired by a little writing assignment (Critters in the Garden) in her More Literacy workbook from Mother Goose Time. She was instructed to draw a picture of what critters she might see in a garden, and then draw or write a story about it.

She was so creative that my mommy heart can’t help but share it with the world-wide web.

(“Mom, I’m gonna make the rabbit out of an R.
Because some letters look like the animals.”)

 

The No Family Mole
by Natalie Harwood

Once upon a time, there was a mole. And he was very lonely because he didn’t have a family.

There was also a rabbit, who jumped into a hole, thinking it was her den. But it was the mole’s hole.

She jumped in and she found the mole and asked him if he would be her friend.

The mole said yes because he was lonely.

But after a while, they were still lonely.

Then a worm squirmed in and thought it was her home.

AND THEN the worm asked the rabbit and the mole if they wanted to be her friends and they said yes.

Now they were not lonely.

The End.

 

I’m anticipating an illustrated version to come. Stay tuned!

MGT Blog AmbassadorAs an official Mother Goose Time Blog Ambassador,
I receive curriculum in exchange for posting about our honest and authentic experiences with the curriculum.
Click here for more information on Mother Goose Time.

Growing Gardens Wrap-up: Part 2

Our last Growing Gardens day was filled with lots of fun journal activities. I personally LOVE the journal aspect of Growing Gardens. I personally love to journal and have for years (here is a sneak peak of most of my journal collection).  I really appreciate that this currciulum is introducing my kids to a really great activity that is going to help them to process the information and store it into their memories. Mother Goose Time does a really great job at giving such a variety of activities within the daily topic to cater to all types of different learning styles (visual, auditory, reading/writing, and kinesthetic). I’m personally still trying to pinpoint which style my daughter responds to the best, so it’s realy helpful to have the variety to observe and start to see hints of her learning bent.

As you can tell, the number 10 was a focus for this month, and with our focus on Days 18 & 19 of Beans and Peas, I went with a green theme.

So the first journal activity was to draw 10 pea pods and add different numbers of peas to each pod. Since I knew we would be trying to cover a lot of ground, I drew the pods ahead of time for the kiddos and let them choose how they wanted to fill them.

 

 

Peter wasn’t very engaged at this point, so I tried to bring in little green pompoms instead of just using the marker to draw the peas. He didn’t really appreciate my ingenuity on this one, either. With Natalie, I told her ahead of time that we would be adding up the peas that she drew at the end, so to be mindful of that as she completed the activity.

Peter moved on to the next activity quickly – coloring the bird pink. He actually colored a lot longer than he normally does.


He surprised me with how focused he was on this task. I can see his attention span increasing, especially when it comes to coloring, which he used to have no interest in at all. So that’s been cool to see.

His finished product.

Once Natalie was finished with her peas, we wrote the total of each pod above it.


Once all the pods were totaled, we combined our Rabbit Counters, pattern shape blocks, and our pompoms so she could use them as counting manipulatives. She had gone a bit crazy with her peas.

Peter stole shared the pattern shape blocks and started his own little activity.

I encouraged his show of independence and the fact that he was occupied enough for us to engage in the counting without much interruption. He did, however, start to mimic Natalie’s counting, and even started counting the pom poms as he was cleaning those that had fallen on the kitchen floor.

Natalie using her manipulatives to represent the peas in the pods.


Once Natalie had all her peas counted, we added the total to the journal page and she quickly filled in her pink bird and page design.

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We then pulled out the paint and baby q-tips to add 10 seeds to our garden at the back of the journal.


Since the Rabbit Counters were already accessible, I suggested that a bunny jumped into the paint and then rain through their gardens. So we spent some time stamping bunny tracks.


This led to some conversation about how the difference between a clean print (stamping with very little paint) vs what happens with a lot of paint glopped on. Natalie is pretty picky about her work, so she wanted to know how to make the best prints.

My kiddos love to paint, so when we finished our seeds, we put the journals aside to draw and decided to have a little freeplay art time.

It was game on with the different manipulatives to choose from to paint with (rabbit counters, pompoms, pipecleaners, q-tips, and fingers), and we talked about the different textures.

I was reminded to not take my eye off Peter while he’s painting.

He ended up with some fancy new pink streaks in his hair before the end of it.

Natalie decided to draw what she called a “Cat Butterfly.”

“It flies around eating bites of cats. So we better hide our cats.”
So, there’s that. Gotta give her credit for creativity, right? And maybe a little future counseling if this continues. 🙂

We wrapped up our morning with the really fun scrapbooking exercise!

It suggested that we draw a vine with 9 tomatoes (just so happens this is Natalie’s favorite vegetable (or fruit, depending on where you fall in that argument). Natalie decided she wanted a basket of tomatoes instead, and so we planned out her design before she got started.

My lack of artistic skills showing Natalie some basket design options.



Natalie’s finished scrapbook pages for Growing Gardens

I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the scrapbook that helps you to quickly reference the main topics for each month! I really wish that we had the previous months’ fill-ins since we started mid-year. Looking forward to completing the rest of it! Note the really cute idea for the “F”, “R”, and “Y” plants with 2 options for the child to choose from to represent what we’ve discussed.

Since Peter had already moved on from our daily work for the day, I filled in his journal with the remaining options Natalie didn’t pick.

First Month Assessment: LOVE Mother Goose Time! This has been SO helpful for me to ease into schooling both kiddos with a more hands-on curriculum. It’s super cute, very well organized and creative, and the kids have really enjoyed it.  I put all of this month’s Daily Topic Sheets in a binder and while Natalie was painting, I flipped through them and asked her to tell me about each picture. I was really surprised with how much she has retained and it was very encouraging to me to see that the time we’d spent this past month was really having an impact.

Sometimes it’s easy for me to second-guess whether activities are really worth the effort and time investment they require, and so it was nice to have such a quick confirmation that it really seemed to be in this case. And it’s been evident to see Peter’s progress in just watching Natalie play and engage in the projects. I’ve seen his play change and develop in a really short amount of time.

So overall, extremely pleased and thankful that we get to do this together!

MGT Blog Ambassador

As an official Mother Goose Time Blog Ambassador,
I receive curriculum in exchange for posting about our honest and authentic experiences with the curriculum.
Click here for more information on Mother Goose Time.