Come (There’s always an upgrade with Him)

Recently, while trying to get together a meaningful gift for a friend, I ran across the Greek word for come: deute. This term is used specifically in Matthew 11:28 when Jesus says,

“Come, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I loved the idea that Jesus tells us to come to Him. Sometimes it’s an invitation. Other times, a command. According to Strong’s Concordance, this specific instance it was used imperatively. Come!

I was reminded of all of this earlier this morning, as my daughter was in the kitchen. I had just printed out a grocery scavenger hunt page to hopefully keep her occupied on our weekly trip to Aldi.

I had placed the scavenger hunt sheet on a clipboard and put it next to my purse so I hopefully wouldn’t forget it (and my purse) on the way out the door. Because with two little ones, it’s a little crazy around these parts, especially when we try to actually leave the house.

Disclaimer: I am not nearly this creative or intentional most days. So if you are a tired mama that is just trying to get through the day (or hour), please don’t see this as yet another way you may not be doing ‘what you should be doing.’ I am not trying to ‘should’ on you. Occasionally when I have had a good time with the Lord in the mornings – which again, does not always happen – He will provide ideas like this for me and inspire me in the work that He has placed in my hands. I believe it’s part of the way that He reveals His goodness to me and the promise of “Seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” As I try to seek Him first, He directs my steps. Sometimes in more general ways, sometimes in specifics that help lighten a load (like grocery shopping with two restless kiddos). So my motivation is to just share a neat idea that the Lord gave me today, in case you can benefit from it or it will inspire another good idea that can help you with a less-than-fun activity with your kidlets. And also in an effort to keep it real here, I will add that I went grocery shopping in my bleach & paint stained yoga pants today. So nothing to see here, folks. Please keep tracking with me.

So, back to the story:
My daughter was curious and was already trying to investigate the next activity, and inadvertently tore the sheet in the process.

“Uh oh, mom. I tore it.”
“Bring it here, hun.”
Silence.
“Natalie, just bring it here. I’ll fix it.”
“I can do it.” (more tearing)
“Natalie, bring it here. It’s okay. Just bring it here.”

That’s when the Holy Spirit started speaking to me.

“Just come to Me. I’ll fix it. Don’t try to do it yourself. It doesn’t need to be fixed before you give it back. Just bring it to me. I’ll take it like it is. I can fix it.”

And how often have I sat there fumbling, putting off His invitation, still rifling around with the pages of my life, trying to get them back in order and all together again, looking for tape or glue or whatever else I think will get it back like it’s supposed to be.

Just come! Deute!
It speaks of an urgency.

And what does He offer for the exchange? A reprimand? A punishment? A shameful scolding?
Nope.

“Come, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Rest.

That’s one of His magnificent exchanges.

There’s always an upgrade with Him.

Lord, I pray that you would continue to reveal the deception that is in my heart, when I am wrestling and striving to fix or perfect before I bring You what You are asking for. Whether it’s my service or myself, I pray that I would respond quickly when you call, trust that You love me and my efforts as they are, and that really You are the only one capable of transforming what is in my hands and in my heart. I was never supposed to do it. It was always supposed to be offered to You. Thank you for continually speaking and revealing Yourself. Please continue to give me eyes to see and ears to hear.
In Jesus’ Powerful Name, Amen.

Thanks for letting me share!

Come As You Are – Crowder

General Air of Dependency

I am surrounded by immense need. Not even including myself – and boy am I a dousy – but my kids. Needy. Little balls of neediness.

As I am filling the request for cheese toast, I’m also being asked to ‘find something in her ear’ (thanks, Papa John, for finding quarters one day so that now that each day holds a new promise for more riches), and also to play with her. Really? I’m still trying to get the first thing you asked for.

Geez Louise. It can be exhausting.

And frustrating. I wish I could say that I’m not frustrated – that I can stay in an objective emotional state and recognize that they are just kids, little dependents that I’m called to take care of. But I don’t stay in that cozy little viewpoint of understanding and realistic expectations. I somehow seem to find myself most days – okay, all days – on the sidelines of realistic expectations – finding myself wanting them to see that mommy is trying to do the best she can, that she is getting my cheese toast so I’m going to wait patiently while she does that and then I’m going to be considerate enough to let her finish her coffee before I ask for anything else.

HA! I know, right?

Well, it occurred to me today, as I’m being bombarded with requests and the general air of dependency, that my God is SO unlike me. Thankfully, He is not overwhelmed or put off by my kids’ neediness, or mine. He is not frustrated when I come to Him, asking for peace and provision, and while He’s at it, I’d love some extra rest today with a side of resolution in this relational issue over here. And while You’re up, taking care of those things, could you also love me and affirm me of Your love today in a special way. Thanks.

Yep – He is not frustrated by my extreme desperation one bit. In fact, He delights in the fact that I bring it to Him. I don’t always – sometimes I get caught up in the delusion that I can manage myself (again, another big HA) or the deception that He doesn’t want to hear from me again today, so I need to figure out another solution (LIE).

He is not overwhelmed or put off by me. Whether I’m being demanding and less than grateful (which He addresses in me) or I’m asking continuously because I’m struggling in doubt and the silence of waiting. He does not have unrealistic expectations of me. He knows me. He created me. He is intimately acquainted with all my ways. Yours, too. Check it out.

As my daughter comes back up to me, asking for another piece of cheese toast, she’s grinning and excited and telling me how yummy the first piece was. And I think that God wants that from me, too. For me to know that He’s not put off by my requests, and that He loves it when I come back to Him, asking for more and exclaiming how much I enjoyed what He has already given.

Thanks for letting me share!

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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6-7

 

The Dragon and the Grasshopper

When I was younger (in college) I went through a phase where I wanted to be a children’s author. I even started a short story one night. I honestly don’t remember what it was about. Needless to say, the phase passed and I haven’t really thought about it much since. Until today.

I was driving down the road and saw these two clouds in the sky, and from my point of view at the time they were the only two clouds in the sky. One looked like a Chinese dragon and the other, just above it, looked like a grasshopper (please don’t judge).  And it was one of those strange moments where the Lord allowed those two images to represent a topic that I have been wrestling with for some time now…comparison.

These two figures seemed to be facing each other, and for a brief moment I thought about the idea of the dragon wanting to be like the grasshopper. Maybe that dragon was admiring the grasshopper’s delicate nature and the way that it could so easily create music with its legs. At the same time, the grasshopper is esteeming the dragon above himself for his bold presence, power and strength.

Two different ends of the spectrum.

And then my train of thought went to this conflict that then ensues between the two of them, because instead of choosing to admire innocently the abilities and giftings of the other, they choose to start to pick out each others’ flaws in order to compensate for the ways that they were each feeling less-than because they didn’t possess the same attributes.

It’s an ugly truth, but if we were really honest with ourselves, haven’t we been there? I know that I have. In my insecurity, I have looked for the weaknesses of others in order to try to ‘balance’ out the score card between us, if I felt as though they had more to offer than me. (Who are we offering exactly what to, that is another question to explore at another time.)

The Lord has shown me the awful ugliness of this choice. And when I try to focus on the flaws of others, I am picking apart His creation, what He has made, and my beef becomes with Him, not other people.

And it goes both ways; I can put too much weight on what I consider to be my strengths or areas the Lord has chosen to bestow a gift (not like I can take credit for it, but my pride would like to) and therefore not appreciate others’ differences with as much esteem and value as I have placed on the things I appreciate about myself.

Ugh…this is not fun stuff to admit. Really, really yucky. I am so thankful for a loving God that pursues me in this junk and loves me through it enough to change me.

But can I ask you, in the ways that I have stepped out on the ledge and exposed some of my heart, that you ask yourself if any of this rings true in you? Are you a grasshopper? Maybe an introverted soft-spoken person who secretly longs for the outward boldness and confidence displayed in someone else you know? Or are you a dragon? Maybe you don’t feel held back about sharing your perspective and words, but inwardly jealous of those that seem more confident in silence and seem to possess the wisdom you crave?

It’s tricky. Because we see things in others that we desire. Maybe it’s part of the packaging that God gave them or maybe, just maybe, what we’re desiring is what He is doing in them. Maybe you want that boldness and confidence, and see that as more of a personality type than the Holy Spirit’s presence in that person’s life? Or the wisdom you see in someone else? That’s another indicator of God’s presence and work, not because they may be an introvert or not. And in this, the very thing that we can choose to value and esteem, can be God Himself -His Work in those people – instead of an area that we allow there to be division and envy.

What if the very things that make me long to be someone else are things that the Lord desires to do in me? Maybe not… it could be that God wants to change my heart and allow me to be more content with Who He has created me to be. That very well could be the case. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all analogy, for sure. But maybe (and I’m wondering this today) if the things that I really admire in others and have allowed to drag me into jealousy and insecurity and comparison funk, are things that the Lord desires for me as well, if I would just ask Him.

They won’t look like they do in others. Again, the packaging is different.

I don’t know. I just wonder if maybe I don’t ask the Lord enough (and I hope that you can understand my heart here) to really allow myself to be so comfortable and trusting in His love for me, as His daughter, to just ask Him for what I want. And then be open for His response. Yes, No, Maybe later. Wait and see.

Because this process is about being honest with Him. He knows already what I want; good, bad, beautiful, and ugly. So why not bring it to Him and acknowledge it? Why not give Him more of an opportunity to reveal my heart to me, to show me what desires are from Him and what are not.

He promises to give good gifts. So I can trust that whatever His response, it’s for my good. If it’s a no, then it’s because I don’t need to be a dragon. If it’s a yes, then by all means, cultivate in me the overt boldness and presence that will attract others to me for His glory, or the confident silence and trust of wisdom like the grasshopper. Whatever the case may be. Because it is about Him. The other stuff (the stuff I mentioned above), if i leave it as it is, then it’s just selfish desires for selfish means: acceptance, affirmation, applause, approval. But if I bring it to Him, then we’re engaging in heart work. And it changes me, and that’s always for His glory.