Last year I prayed and asked the Lord to give me a word or phrase that could help bring my mind and heart into focus.  And He responded. Embrace was very significant in the way the Lord was moving last year, and honestly I think it will continue. He has already been showing more of how to step into the idea of embracing and being ‘in’ my life more and more, and I am so thankful for that.

And in an amazing way, the word that I have sensed the Lord speaking for 2015 has everything to do with bringing to fruition what He has started and is continuing in my life.

Fulfill
1. to carry out, or bring to realization, as a prophecy or promise.
2. to perform or do, as duty; obey or follow, as commands.
3. to satisfy (requirements, obligations, etc.): a book that fulfills a long-felt need.
4. to bring to an end; finish or complete, as a period of time: He felt that life was over when one had fulfilled his threescore years and ten.
5. to develop the full potential of (usually used reflexively)

I have felt that this term, for as much as I believe the Lord has shown me so far, has two parts, His and mine. I guess as with anything, there is a sense of partnership and response that is called for on my end, but more than anything, I am reminded that the Lord IS the One that does the thing. He just does.

I found a timely quote a couple of days ago that really summed it up for me:

“God initiates EVERYTHING. He creates from nothing. He pursues man. He calls. He chooses. He saves. He enlarges hearts. He opens eyes. He brings dead things to life. He speaks things that aren’t as if they were.” -Shane Barnard

He is the Author and Perfecter.

So, here is what I’m sensing the Lord showing me so far.

God’s Part: That He is going to do what He has planned to do in my life, and more specifically, that He will bring to completion the plans He has for this season of my life. (Not that this is any new revelation of information, but I just can sense an invitation to peer more closely, to ask for eyes to see and ears to hear Him, that I won’t miss what He is wanting to do this year.) I believe that this calls for a greater sense of expectancy, faith, trust, and confidence in His promises on my part. All of which are still pretty much His work and what He puts in my heart as I surrender to Him.

My Part: That I will obey, step into the things that the Lord has directed my hands, my mind, and my heart to, that I would not back away in fear or procrastinate due to perfectionism, and that I will take action. The word initiative has been resonating with me for a while now, and so I am asking that the Lord would produce a trust in me for what He has spoken, that this faith would produce initiative, and that I would step out and into the things He reveals, knowing He will direct my steps and connect me to the people and places as He orchestrates.

A couple practical steps so far:

(1) We are starting what we are affectionately calling our “soft run” at homeschooling this spring. January 5th was our first Monday morning of 4K with the Sweetness. The main goals for this ‘semester’ are to step into a more structured schedule (look at me, don’t I sound so teacher-y already), allowing that to become more routine and practiced. I also have had a lot of hesitations in implementing pretty much anything because of a lot of unknowns – like what to do with the almost 2 yr old crazy busy boy while we’re trying to focus on school. But the Lord has more than confirmed that I just need to ‘get in it’ and wrestle with it, and we’ll figure it out as we go along. I am reminded of His sweet whisper to me as I first sensed Him stirring my heart towards homeschooling, that He would equip me along the journey, not before.

(1b) So you may be thinking, big deal. “What’s the issue, dear?” (Insert female troll voice from Frozen) Well, the issue is that this requires that I drastically change my sleeping schedule. Dun Dun Dunnnn. Sayonara, night owl nature that loves late night, non-interrupted-by-littles-tv shows with food I don’t have to share.

Really, I kid. It’s been fine. The Lord has been so faithful to give me an increasing desire to do the things that He has laid before me, and His goodness really has been so tangible. It’s definitely still a transition process, and not one I can come close to bragging about, but we’re moving in the right direction.

(2) The hubs and I have also sensed the Lord stirring in us a calling for our community more than ever. It started last fall, when the Lord chose to speak through Jen Hatmaker’s Interrupted. I knew while I was reading it that I was now being called to make a very practical response, that I was now accountable to the knowledge I was receiving . (If I haven’t already scared you off, it’s a great read! I highly recommend -funny and moving.) We’ve been praying and asking the Lord for His guidance, and we have witnessed Him changing our hearts and our responses to things and events in ways that are not natural to us. It is Him, and we are thankful to see Him in this capacity.

So we are excited to get more involved in the Hampton Village and see more of what the Lord desires to do in and around us. (Villages are what our church, Momentum, calls the people that live in the same zip-code who are ‘Christ-followers establishing roots in their community and intentionally living out the Gospel in compelling ways.’) And so we’re going to start taking the initiative and get our hands messy, and see where the Spirit leads.

As if this wasn’t enough to honestly occupy me for the whole year, I’m almost positive that there will be more. There will be ways that I need to step more into my greatest ministry role I will ever play, being a wife to one incredible man. There are amazing promises that God desires to fulfill in my marriage, and I want to fully receive whatever He has for me in that, and in any area of my life. Amen? Don’t you?

Because although I feel that this was my personal word for this year, it’s not like His promises are just for me. There are a-mazing things He wants to do in your life as well. Will you be open to receive them?

Which leads me to the last practical step, which concerns my heart.

(3) Fulfillment requires a level of acceptance on my part. Openness. Receptivity.

Acceptance, as in contentment.
Acceptance of correction and discipline.
Acceptance of the new, the unexplained, the whys the Lord chooses not to reveal.

And sometimes to be filled to the full may require moving some things around or even out in order to fill me with something new. Better.

So I have lots of chew on. But I’m excited! The Lord has been so evident.

What about you? Has the Lord given you a word or phrase this year in which He wants to frame His work? A peephole into what He’s up to around you, and in you? I’d love to hear it!

Thanks for letting me share!

“Your Promises” Elevation Worship

I love the Lord’s pursuit of us, of me. He truly is quite the romantic.

As I write this, I’m hearing it all in my head in a British accent. I guess I’ve been watching too much Elementary these days. But please join me. There is something about the British pronunciation of words that makes things sound so much more proper. (In fact, if you are interested in mastering it personally, here ya go. You’re welcome.)
I love the sound of it, how it seems to inspire a sense of importance on what is being said. I think God’s Word and the way that He pursues us calls for that type of reception in us.

So back to the original point…
God will use any means necessary to get our attention. It’s so humbling to think of the days/weeks/months I go without a wholehearted pursuit of Him and yet at each turn, when I bring a piece of my heart and a little of my attention, He is there. Ready to reveal Himself. Ready to remind me of His grace. Mercy. Faithfulness. Love.

A part of me squirms as I write this, battling the inner voice that tells me that so much more is required of me in order to really hear from the Lord. That I must jump through the standard hoops of religion and process in order to get back into His Presence, as though bargaining my way back into His favor.

When truthfully, it’s quite reversed. (insert British accent again) He has done what religion and process demanded and has offered me unconditional favor through His Son’s sacrifice and resurrection. All I have to do is come. Deute.  He is there, desiring my attention and time, not shamefully scolding, but passionately beckoning me to come closer so that I can hear all that He is saying, all that He has to share with me.

How often have I dragged my feet, putting off my return in fear and regret when what really was waiting for me was joy and fulfillment? What gracious response is next that I have yet to receive in my shame and hiding?

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,  may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,  and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” -Ephesians 3:17-19

The riches of His love…that we would explore them and know them personally. That we would be willing to travel the path of resistance through that regret and fear to return and find for ourselves the personal grace and mercy and abundant love that God has for us individually, “to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” To not just hear the sermons and read the scriptures from our removed position, but to walk into His embrace, the prodigal coming home, and learn from the new vantage point of His arms. That is where we get to know His heart beat. That is where we know that He really knows ours.

This is the passionate pursuit I am taking about. The God that hunts down prostitutes and prodigals every single day and invites them to His church. To be His church, His bride. That’s how we got here. Did you not know? Did you not know that He pursues your unfaithful heart every day, that you may possibly turn and catch a glimpse of Him, the real source of whatever you are searching for…hope, peace, significance, love, redemption.

What I have considered my life verse for a long time now- Proverbs 3:5-6- refers to acknowledging the Lord over my own understanding.  The word ‘acknowledge’ means to call to one’s attention a personal knowledge that only comes from personal experience.

It’s the ‘inside the embrace‘ vantage point. It’s the place of honor that we have been called to as sons and daughters who believe that God sent His Son Jesus to redeem what was broken and separated. And to return us to our rightful place, a relationship with God.

A return to His embrace.

It is there I find clarity.
My chaos looks more like a process.
My pain looks more like  purpose.
My fear looks more like opportunity which I can choose to press through.

It is there I find peace.
My anxiety doesn’t scream so loudly.
My worries are dwarfed in His Presence.
My doubts are welcomed and addressed-not always answered, but heard – not anything I need to keep hidden any longer.

It is there I find love.
The love I have longed for all my life.
To know like Hagar that God is the God who sees.
And more than that, the God that runs and chases after me.
That I am cherished and my value is expressed by the cross.

It is there I find out who I really am. It is only there that I can really see me, who He created me to be. But it is also there that my goal changes. Because in light of His Presence, I don’t need to be known anymore. I am known by Him and that is enough.

I forget this outside of the embrace. I forget a lot. And for this reason, and perhaps a million more I will never understand, God continues to pursue me. To lovingly remind me of Who He is and what He is doing, if I will join Him again.

How fitting that the Lord would speak these words to my heart as this year is almost over, the year that He called my eyes to settle on and into the word embrace. Symmetry. The Lord bringing things back around to what He had already spoken and is still speaking- what He has done since creation – bringing order to my chaos.

There are certain words or phrases that we repeat a lot around here these days.

One of which is “Natalie, do not sit on your brother.”

I never thought I would have to teach my daughter that her younger brother is not furniture.

“Repeat after me. Fish are friends, not food.”

I’m seriously thinking of holding intervention meetings for toddlers on such related matters – living rooms are not parkour courses, hoarding toys behind pillows is not okay, etc. – if anyone would like to enroll their own littles.

I’m thinking that may be more productive than repeatedly banging my head up against the wall.