Sometimes the Lord speaks to me through analogies – visual pictures that play out before me and I seem a deeper meaning in them. My husband laughs at me (and denies that he does) because yes, the Lord has used a one-legged bird, a dog, and a squirrel to speak His truth to me before.

It’s okay. I’m okay with it. Judge if you want. Think I’m crazy. It’s okay. (you’re still reading, so apparently I’m not that whack-o).

This morning, He spoke to me through my daughter. My precious, ADD (not really, um, maybe?) 3 year old.

Here is how the scene unfolded:

I asked her to bring me her bowl on the coffee table. She continues to play with one of the floor toys, with her back to me.

(Normally I would repeat myself,using a less than patient tone, since she did not even acknowledge my request. But for whatever reason this morning, I felt like I should just sit back and watch).

About thirty seconds after asking her (which for this mom waiting on obedience or at least a nod of acknowledgement can seem like a lifetime), she gets up and makes the scenic route to the coffee table. So you can picture this, let me paint the scene.

She is siting about 5 feet away from the coffee table. Instead of standing up and walking straight towards it, She instead gets up, starts heading towards me (when it probably dawns on her for the first time what I have actually requested), and then heads to the coffee table, choosing to go around the way where there are pillows in her path.

Seeing these as obstacles that she must swing over, she puts one hand on the coffee table and one on the couch, and Indiana Jones style swings across the ravine to the other side. She then finally grabs the bowl with the remnants of yogurt, and turns around to the path she just took. I quickly tell her to not even think about it, knowing she is thinking of pouncing over the pillows this time (and my mind envisions bowl, spoon, and child flying in 3 separate directions).

So she turns the other direction, once again the longest route back to me, and precedes in my direction. Once she is at a straight-away, she turns sideways and holds out the bowl towards me, and begins to walk towards me without looking, heading straight towards the gate.

(* the wondrous gate that keeps my children contained so that I can be sane in a house with a 1 year old that wants to climb and conquer everything in his path).

I then have to warn her to watch where she is going and keep her eyes on me, so she doesn’t run smack into the boundary line I’ve placed in the room. (seriously – do you hear the Lord’s truth in this?)

She eventually gets to me, bowl miraculously in one piece (because for some reason this morning I thought it was wise (?) to give her one of our breakable ones instead of the usual plastic ones).

And I am laughing and smiling to myself because this entire time, the Lord is saying to me that she is the same as me.

Usually I would interpret this scene through my faults and what I feel I don’t do well – like not obeying immediately when the Lord directs, and then going about that obedience in my own sweet timing, choosing my route and having Him correct me along the path. (And how revealing that I pass along the disappointed tone to my daughter that I believe the Lord uses with me.)

But recently, He has introduced me to the truth that I don’t have a very firm grasp of His love.
How much He absolutely loves me, adores me, and delights in me.

And that I don’t have a firm grasp on His gentle grace.

This morning, this beautiful, refreshing, life-giving morning, I feel like what I felt for my daughter in those moments was a glimpse of what He feels for me. Smiling. Watching and finding humor in my meandering. And enjoying it when I take joy in the path He has directed me in. In the same way my daughter chose to see her task as an adventure through the living room, He loves it when I see the fun and joy in what He has placed before me. And use my creativity to pursue the tasks that He has put before me.

So instead of viewing the Lord’s response to me as I am – how I, unfortunately, respond impatiently to my children, I need to view the Lord’s response to me as He is, gentle and compassionate and loving. He has no unrealistic expectations of me in which I disappoint Him daily. But He delights in each step I take towards Him and towards the things He has direct me. And He enjoys watching me pursue those things in joy – still guiding and correcting so that I don’t run into the boundary lines He’s placed, but all the time smiling. Because He sees His Son in me, and a daughter that is trying her best to follow Him each day.

Not perfect. But imperfect progress.

love it.

Today I am going to start something new. Something pretty scary and intimidating for me, but something that I believe the Lord has been preparing me for and leading to for quite some time.

I’m not exactly ready to put it out there, but I do plan to share eventually.  But for now, I just wanted to share some of the struggle and process that this has led to recently.

For one, I’ve realized that when I have nervous energy, I clean.

So right now, my house is cleaner and tidier than it has ever been. (At least one of my coping mechanisms is somewhat productive, right? My husband may be encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone more often, for the sake of our home).

I’ve also been reminded of two, how easy it would be to succumb to emotions that contradict what the Lord has been saying to me through His Word and through the Holy Spirit in prayer.

Oh, how I have to be guarded against my own heart!

I am so thankful for accountability – trusted friends in my life that have journeyed with me, so that they can remind me and by my guidepost of sorts, to confirm that this is indeed the way that I should go.

Do you have that? Do you have someone in your life that you trust enough to let in? That can help point you back to the last thing the Lord spoke to you when you haven’t heard anything lately or when opposition sets in?

If not, I hope that you will pray and ask God for it. It is a true gift from God.

Three, I’ve also discovered that I am pretty darn good at coming up with pretty valid reasons as to why I should stay exactly where I am right now. I probably should have looked into law school. I can argue with myself with the best of them.

If it wasn’t for this annoying little fact that I know, I know, that this is where the Lord is leading. And so despite my best effort, my best defense doesn’t stand against the Lord.

And I am thankful for that. Thankful that  I have had a similar encounter with the Lord to say, like Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:68) To proceed without the Lord, well it would be pointless. All else would be fruitless. (John 15:5)

Four, I have been reminded of the importance and power of obedience., of agreeing with God and then going with Him.

Going with the God that loves me (loves us), immensely, has my best in mind, and has the power to do through me whatever He calls me to.

He has already freed me – but I have to choose to walk with Him out of the prison cell.

And sometimes that looks like work. Scary, intimidating steps. But He’s with me.

So – I’m making little ebenezers to further hold me accountable and remind me of what the Lord is doing, when I face more opposition and doubting and want to turn back. Like this post.

(*An ebenezer is seem in scripture when Samuel, after receiving victory in battle, set up a monument of stone, literally meaning “Stone of Help” to remind him of God’s help.. Today, it can be anything that reminds you of God’s very real presence and help (a scripture posted in your home, a bracelet you wear that reminds you of something the Lord has spoken to or done in your life, etc.)

So, here is to stepping out in obedience in a scary, new, fun, exciting and challenging direction the Lord is leading. He promises to equip (Philippians 2:13) and to complete what He has started (Phil 1:6).

“One small step for man, one giant leap…”

It may just be one ‘small’ step, but obedience leads to more freedom, and that is a game-changer.
A life-changer.

One more way that I’m stepping into the abundant life that the Lord has promised me.

“…I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” -John 10:10

So, I’m a little excited to announce that I’m finally going to have a new blog site! It’s been coming for quite a while….years, actually. It only makes sense that since my husband is this awesome web design guy that I take advantage of this talent. (see some of his work here)

I hope it will be finished soon! Life with two littles makes things interesting and not really happen on my own schedule, but that is totally okay. I’m learning to accept things as they are a little bit more than I have in the past and learning to go with the flow. (I know, insert shock and surprise here)

Anyways, since it’s not ready yet, I figured I can at least talk about it. Maybe by actually putting it out there, it will hold me accountable to getting it done before another 2-3 years pass.

I’m also excited because this blog has always been something very personal to me, something that is so closely tied to my walk with Jesus that I have really tried to not every post anything just to post. I’ve tried to wait until I felt that there was something that the Lord wanted me to share, or that I’m learning and wrestling through, or that the spiritual gift of teaching inside of me makes me feel as if I will burst if I didn’t share it.

I never post just to fill a post.

That explains why there are some sparse seasons. Sometimes it’s just not time to share yet.

But I’m really glad that this is how the Lord is developing HIS blog. It feels organic, like being connected to the Vine and letting Him produce foliage and fruit.

I’ve also really been wrestling through what this new name is going to be. My perfectionist tendencies were definitely a challenge to overcome, as I wanted the IDEAL name that captured the very essence of all future posts (HA!). But, if you are keeping pace with the past few months here, you’d know that the Lord is really working on me in this area, trying to throw off my idealism and grasping the real right in front of me. The messy, the unfinished stuff, the off-the-cuff messages and interactions and life. So, there was a tension is praying through and really seeking the Lord for the name He had in mind, not something I was trying to figure out or analyze it to death.

And it finally came!

(I am gonna hold on to it for just a little bit longer, but I’ll share soon)

It’s perfect, for me. It captures so much meaning from my walk with the Jesus over the past 10+ years.

Not what I thought it would be, but perfect.

Just as the Lord always works.

So, I’m a little excited over here. Hope to have something beautiful to show you soon! 🙂

“You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” -Psalm 16:11