“So I’ll stop living off of how I feel And start standing on Your truth revealed Jesus is my strength, my shield And He will never fail me”
-Casting Crowns, All You’ve Ever Wanted
Whew – this statement. To be able to silence, or at least ignore, my extremely loud emotions in order to hear the Lord’s truth over them. This emotional filter through which I see life can be so distracting and distorting. Although I know that God created my emotions, I know that they often trump His voice in my life and dictate decisions that they shouldn’t. Lord, sanctify my sensitivity. Show me how You intended my emotions to factor into this life, staying in tune with Your Spirit.
I read Galatians this morning with new eyes. Familiar verses seemed to speak new truths, God’s living Word cutting even deeper into me, separating soul and spirit. It is so precious when I can experience the truth of scripture so poignantly and apparently. Even as I am reading scripture. (So meta)
After an awesome message on the Holy Spirit this past Sunday morning, I feel inspired to grasp more of an understanding of living by the Spirit. Although I recognize now more than ever that even this – living by the Spirit – is God’s work in me, that I am powerless to even accomplish this, I want to know how to pursue the Lord in such a way that He has the open invitation to invade and command my life. I found myself asking questions like, “What is my part in this, Lord?” “How do I submit to You in a way that allows Your life to have full reign?” “How do I stay in step with the Spirit?” (Galatians 5:25)
I wish I could now say that I know the answers, but honestly I am just excited at this new phase in my relationship with the Lord where I am asking these types of questions. In the past, not too far removed from now, in my deception I felt that it was up to me to figure these things out and to accomplish them on my own. When Paul says in Galatians 5:25 for us, as believers, to stay in step with the Spirit, doesn’t that sound like a command? Like something that we should be doing, even knowing how to do? And so often I have read a lot of scriptures with this bent, as though they are these instructions and rules that I needed to take and go do myself.
For example, in light of the amazing fruits of the Spirit and taking this ‘lemme at em’ approach, what do I find in that? Discouragement. Failure. And eventually landing in feelings of hopelessness, because I am not patient. Most days, in my natural self, I can easily choose anger and irritation over kindness and gentleness. And love – the real stuff about sacrificing yourself, laying down my life for others, I’m pretty empty of that, too.
Maybe I’m wrong – maybe I will read this post later and realize that I had it wrong (possibly like most of my posts) – but in the effort of allowing this to be a true place of wrestling, I’ll just share where I am in this process.
I don’t know that I can stay in step with the Spirit. Maybe it’s because I am not accustomed to it yet. I’m just barely learning what abiding in the Lord is about, after how many years of walking with the Lord?
OR
maybe it’s more about submission, about being aware of the Lord’s presence and asking for help.
Could it be that simple?
Could what I have been trying to reproduce in my life from my limited understanding of scripture really just be about instead asking for the Lord to do it in me? And then releasing my efforts so that I’m not circumventing His work in my life and my heart?
I don’t know.
(oh, that once dreaded statement that the Lord is now asking me to embrace.)
Regardless, I think the term ‘reproducing’ is pretty telling, exposing how I’ve gotten it wrong. As though it’s my job to create in my life some sort of replica or image of the Lord vs His life in me overflowing.
John 15:5, “I am the Vine; you are the branches. The One who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.”
Anyways – no pretty bow to wrap this up. I’m going to choose to leave things undone for now, because I now know that it’s not my place to figure everything out in my timetable.
So I’ll just leave you with a timely quote from The Nesting Place (one of my bday gifts from the hubs):
“The goal of perfection does nothing but hold you back. In her book Choosing Rest, Sally Breedlove says, ‘We find rest in the incompleteness of the present moment as we learn to recognize the goodness of what is and we trust that what is needed for the future will be given at its proper time.’
Allowing things in our homes and in our lives to be incomplete, imperfect, and undone in some ways is a form of trust.”
Choosing to trust today, that the Lord is giving me what I need in His timing:
“The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.” – Psalm 145:15
I Don’t Know
Jenny“So I’ll stop living off of how I feel
And start standing on Your truth revealed
Jesus is my strength, my shield
And He will never fail me”
-Casting Crowns, All You’ve Ever Wanted
Whew – this statement. To be able to silence, or at least ignore, my extremely loud emotions in order to hear the Lord’s truth over them. This emotional filter through which I see life can be so distracting and distorting. Although I know that God created my emotions, I know that they often trump His voice in my life and dictate decisions that they shouldn’t. Lord, sanctify my sensitivity. Show me how You intended my emotions to factor into this life, staying in tune with Your Spirit.
I read Galatians this morning with new eyes. Familiar verses seemed to speak new truths, God’s living Word cutting even deeper into me, separating soul and spirit. It is so precious when I can experience the truth of scripture so poignantly and apparently. Even as I am reading scripture. (So meta)
After an awesome message on the Holy Spirit this past Sunday morning, I feel inspired to grasp more of an understanding of living by the Spirit. Although I recognize now more than ever that even this – living by the Spirit – is God’s work in me, that I am powerless to even accomplish this, I want to know how to pursue the Lord in such a way that He has the open invitation to invade and command my life. I found myself asking questions like, “What is my part in this, Lord?” “How do I submit to You in a way that allows Your life to have full reign?” “How do I stay in step with the Spirit?” (Galatians 5:25)
I wish I could now say that I know the answers, but honestly I am just excited at this new phase in my relationship with the Lord where I am asking these types of questions. In the past, not too far removed from now, in my deception I felt that it was up to me to figure these things out and to accomplish them on my own. When Paul says in Galatians 5:25 for us, as believers, to stay in step with the Spirit, doesn’t that sound like a command? Like something that we should be doing, even knowing how to do? And so often I have read a lot of scriptures with this bent, as though they are these instructions and rules that I needed to take and go do myself.
For example, in light of the amazing fruits of the Spirit and taking this ‘lemme at em’ approach, what do I find in that? Discouragement. Failure. And eventually landing in feelings of hopelessness, because I am not patient. Most days, in my natural self, I can easily choose anger and irritation over kindness and gentleness. And love – the real stuff about sacrificing yourself, laying down my life for others, I’m pretty empty of that, too.
Maybe I’m wrong – maybe I will read this post later and realize that I had it wrong (possibly like most of my posts) – but in the effort of allowing this to be a true place of wrestling, I’ll just share where I am in this process.
I don’t know that I can stay in step with the Spirit. Maybe it’s because I am not accustomed to it yet. I’m just barely learning what abiding in the Lord is about, after how many years of walking with the Lord?
OR
maybe it’s more about submission, about being aware of the Lord’s presence and asking for help.
Could it be that simple?
Could what I have been trying to reproduce in my life from my limited understanding of scripture really just be about instead asking for the Lord to do it in me? And then releasing my efforts so that I’m not circumventing His work in my life and my heart?
I don’t know.
(oh, that once dreaded statement that the Lord is now asking me to embrace.)
Regardless, I think the term ‘reproducing’ is pretty telling, exposing how I’ve gotten it wrong. As though it’s my job to create in my life some sort of replica or image of the Lord vs His life in me overflowing.
John 15:5, “I am the Vine; you are the branches. The One who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me.”
Anyways – no pretty bow to wrap this up. I’m going to choose to leave things undone for now, because I now know that it’s not my place to figure everything out in my timetable.
So I’ll just leave you with a timely quote from The Nesting Place (one of my bday gifts from the hubs):
“The goal of perfection does nothing but hold you back. In her book Choosing Rest, Sally Breedlove says, ‘We find rest in the incompleteness of the present moment as we learn to recognize the goodness of what is and we trust that what is needed for the future will be given at its proper time.’
Allowing things in our homes and in our lives to be incomplete, imperfect, and undone in some ways is a form of trust.”
Choosing to trust today, that the Lord is giving me what I need in His timing:
“The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.” – Psalm 145:15
Thanks for letting me share.