I think that most of my life I have been praying prayers and then avoiding God’s answers.
“Lord, grant me boldness.”
And then I shy away from the next ‘new’ thing along my path that requires change or stepping out of my comfort zone.
“Lord, give me the ability to see this person like you do.”
And then I resist the trial that offers brokenness, so that I can relate in empathy and compassion to those that are hurting around me, better understanding why they may lash out in anger or put up walls out of distrust.
“Lord, I want to fear You and not man.”
And I mourn the lack of acceptance and esteem that I receive from others, choosing to stay in self-pity, instead of allowing it to be a vehicle to reveal to me how I wrongly prioritize those things in my life and how God desires that I desire to please Him above all else.
Discipline. Brokenness.
Pointing out my sin so that I can accept His grace and forgiveness in it, and move past it. Redemption.
I need kingdom eyes to recognize God’s gifts for what they are, kindness towards me.
“It’s Your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance.” -Kindness, Chris Tomlin
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” -Romans 2:4
The Lord, in His everlasting love and compassion for me, chooses to reveal my sin to me so that He can restore me to wholeness. He could leave me in my mess. He could leave me in deception and dysfunction, where I’ve grown accustomed to the dim lighting and cloudy view. It’s where I’ve been most comfortable, getting used to the scenery and losing sight of any other possible reality. But in His fierce love for me, He uses His Word, His Spirit, and His children to show me that there is more.
In His Kindness, He offers crushing blows to my pride, feeling like He is killing my very self. Which He is.
It feels personal. Because it is. Very personal.
This sin that I hold onto so tightly, wrapped in excuses and pretext, that has so tightly enmeshed itself with my identity, threatens to keep me back from the abundant life that Jesus offers me. It affects the way that I view myself, and the enemy whispers to my heart that this is just who I am – broken and incapable of being anything different.
And this is true -I am incapable of being anything different by myself – but the enemy presents this as the whole story.
But Praise Jesus it is not! There is more. There is Hope. That is just the beginning. My hopelessness is a needed ingredient for what is about to be revealed.
But the enemy doesn’t want me to turn the page, to see and focus on what God has done for me by sending His Son on the cross.
Jesus has extended salvation in the next life, and in this one, a salvation from the trap of sin.
Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, I am now forgiven. I’ve been made new. I am wholly different.
It’s just the beginning.
So when sin is revealed to me, I can choose to see it as God’s loving kindness towards me and quickly agree with Him on what it is. The first step of repentance. And thank Him for eyes to recognize it for what it is. Because without Him, I don’t know how to distinguish good from bad.
My huge take-away:
The prison doors have been opened. It’s time for me to get up and allow Jesus to take off the grave clothes I’ve been wearing, and let me walk in this new life that He has given me. These grave clothes -the lies that still permeate my thoughts and my theology – that shroud my perspective and keep me believing that I am my old self. But I’m not! Hallelujah!
I am new – totally different. I am a new creation. The old has passed away. I now can choose life over death, truth over lies. I no longer have to fall into unhealthy behavioral patterns, pursue old ambitions, default to my flesh. I can choose to submit to the Holy Spirit and ask for help. For refreshment. For His eyes. For His heart. For His mind.
And He is faithful to give me, give us, His good gifts. He wants me to see things as He does, to desire what He desires, to think on things above, not on earthly things. He honors the requests because they echo His prayers for me.
But I also have to ask for eyes to recognize His answers for what they are – the trials that test my faith and refine me, the pruning that allows for greater growth and healthier spiritual fruit, and even the cross that He offers me daily. By taking up my cross, I am agreeing with God that my flesh must die in order for me to receive the full, abundant life He offers me today – through new mercies and through trusting in His ways, that they are good gifts.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.“ – James 1:17
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” -Matthew 7:11
God’s Good Gifts
JennyI think that most of my life I have been praying prayers and then avoiding God’s answers.
“Lord, grant me boldness.”
And then I shy away from the next ‘new’ thing along my path that requires change or stepping out of my comfort zone.
“Lord, give me the ability to see this person like you do.”
And then I resist the trial that offers brokenness, so that I can relate in empathy and compassion to those that are hurting around me, better understanding why they may lash out in anger or put up walls out of distrust.
“Lord, I want to fear You and not man.”
And I mourn the lack of acceptance and esteem that I receive from others, choosing to stay in self-pity, instead of allowing it to be a vehicle to reveal to me how I wrongly prioritize those things in my life and how God desires that I desire to please Him above all else.
I have been asking God to see His goodness in the land of the living, and then rejecting His good gifts that He offers me:
Discipline.
Brokenness.
Pointing out my sin so that I can accept His grace and forgiveness in it, and move past it.
Redemption.
I need kingdom eyes to recognize God’s gifts for what they are, kindness towards me.
“It’s Your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance.” -Kindness, Chris Tomlin
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” -Romans 2:4
The Lord, in His everlasting love and compassion for me, chooses to reveal my sin to me so that He can restore me to wholeness. He could leave me in my mess. He could leave me in deception and dysfunction, where I’ve grown accustomed to the dim lighting and cloudy view. It’s where I’ve been most comfortable, getting used to the scenery and losing sight of any other possible reality. But in His fierce love for me, He uses His Word, His Spirit, and His children to show me that there is more.
In His Kindness, He offers crushing blows to my pride, feeling like He is killing my very self. Which He is.
It feels personal. Because it is. Very personal.
This sin that I hold onto so tightly, wrapped in excuses and pretext, that has so tightly enmeshed itself with my identity, threatens to keep me back from the abundant life that Jesus offers me. It affects the way that I view myself, and the enemy whispers to my heart that this is just who I am – broken and incapable of being anything different.
And this is true -I am incapable of being anything different by myself – but the enemy presents this as the whole story.
But Praise Jesus it is not! There is more. There is Hope. That is just the beginning. My hopelessness is a needed ingredient for what is about to be revealed.
But the enemy doesn’t want me to turn the page, to see and focus on what God has done for me by sending His Son on the cross.
Jesus has extended salvation in the next life, and in this one, a salvation from the trap of sin.
Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, I am now forgiven. I’ve been made new. I am wholly different.
It’s just the beginning.
So when sin is revealed to me, I can choose to see it as God’s loving kindness towards me and quickly agree with Him on what it is. The first step of repentance. And thank Him for eyes to recognize it for what it is. Because without Him, I don’t know how to distinguish good from bad.
My huge take-away:
The prison doors have been opened. It’s time for me to get up and allow Jesus to take off the grave clothes I’ve been wearing, and let me walk in this new life that He has given me. These grave clothes -the lies that still permeate my thoughts and my theology – that shroud my perspective and keep me believing that I am my old self. But I’m not! Hallelujah!
I am new – totally different. I am a new creation. The old has passed away. I now can choose life over death, truth over lies. I no longer have to fall into unhealthy behavioral patterns, pursue old ambitions, default to my flesh. I can choose to submit to the Holy Spirit and ask for help. For refreshment. For His eyes. For His heart. For His mind.
And He is faithful to give me, give us, His good gifts. He wants me to see things as He does, to desire what He desires, to think on things above, not on earthly things. He honors the requests because they echo His prayers for me.
But I also have to ask for eyes to recognize His answers for what they are – the trials that test my faith and refine me, the pruning that allows for greater growth and healthier spiritual fruit, and even the cross that He offers me daily. By taking up my cross, I am agreeing with God that my flesh must die in order for me to receive the full, abundant life He offers me today – through new mercies and through trusting in His ways, that they are good gifts.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.“ – James 1:17
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!” -Matthew 7:11